


Reminder

by Lisa Martin (LisaM)



Category: Quantum Leap
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:53:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25691611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LisaM/pseuds/Lisa%20Martin
Summary: Al gets an offer he can't refuse.
Relationships: Sam Beckett/Al Calavicci
Kudos: 4





	Reminder

**Author's Note:**

> First published in Quantum Instability.

\----*----

Are you going to do it?" Sam asked softly. 

"Sam, I can't." Al stared at his feet, trying to make the anxiety go away. It wasn't helping. He knew he was responsible for all of this, that it had been his decision. But now that the time had come, it didn't seem such a perfect solution anymore. "I can't," he repeated quietly.

"Al you have to." 

"Can't a man change his mind?" 

"Not about this..." Sam whispered as he turned away..... 

I woke up with a jolt, and for a few minutes the only things I registrated were the blood ringing in my ears and the wild beating of my heart. Taking a few deep breaths, I managed to regain a little control. 

Beth stirred beside me, mumbling something unidentifiable I hoped she would stay asleep. No such luck. Her eyes opened and she blinked a few times, then stared at me, worry on her face. 

"Nightmare again?" she asked softly. 

I nodded, knowing better then to deny it. She'd see right through me. Her arms came around me. 

"Will it ever end?" 

I almost smiled at that question, understanding what she meant. I'd had my share of nightmares when I came back from Vietnam, but lately they'd been scarce. This one wasn't about 'Nam either. Far from it. But it was a dream I'd had before, always the same. What it meant completely escaped me, but it scared me nonetheless. In a way much more then those nightmares about 'Nam. I let Beth hold me, drawing comfort from her warmth. She 

didn't ask me about the dream, she never did, knowing I wouldn't answer her. She drifted off again, but I couldn't sleep anymore. Instead, I wondered about the recurring dreams. They started a couple of months ago, when our daughter Ruth went to M.I.T. 

Ruth has a brilliant mind, especially when it comes to physics. I'm proud of her, damn proud. Ruthie's our second daughter; we have four of those ladies altogether, and she’s always been my favorite. According to Beth, that's because she looks so much like me. Be that as it may, fact is that I can talk with Ruth about almost everything. Her special interest is quantum physics, and we spend long hours brainstorming over the most fantastic ideas. 

Yesterday she called me, all exited, rattling on about some lectures. I had to calm her down a bit before I could understand what she was talking about. Turned out, she was inviting me to the lectures, which were going to be given by the world's leading man in the field of quantum physics. It sounded interesting and I had been about to say yes, when she mentioned his name: Dr. Sam Beckett. I guess I fell silent for quite a while, because all of a sudden I heard her concerned voice asking, "Are you okay?" 

"Uh..yeah. I got distracted." I stammered, hoping I sounded convincing. Before I knew it, she had talked me into coming to Boston. Her voice seemed to come from miles away and I could only answer in one syllable sentences. After I put down the phone it took me a long time to regain control. Why that name made me react that way was a complete mystery to me. Oh, I had heard of him; the guy had more then his share of publicity after winning the Nobel prize the previous year. Ruth watched every interview he gave and read every article about him. 

Lisa, our eldest, had teased her relentlessly with it, saying Ruth had a crush on the guy. Usually I can't help teasing her too, especially when it comes to men. Not this time, there was something inside me that kept me silent. Beth wondered about it. I could see her curiosity plainly written on her face. I didn't explain. There was nothing to explain. 

Four days later I arrived in Boston, feeling lousy. The dream had haunted me every night, I hardly slept at all. I kept telling myself it was only a dream and that everything was going to be all right. 

Ruthie was there to pick me up, her cheerfulness lifting my mood a little. She kept chatting away, which was fine by me; my brain couldn't form any coherent thoughts anyway. I was very relieved when I arrived at the hotel, glad to be alone. Ruth is a sweet girl, but at the moment she was a bit too much for me. 

That night I had another dream. I was in a room, a completely white room. Someone was talking to me, trying to explain things to me. I couldn't make out what he was saying, nor could I see who it was. I bent over and saw my face in a mirror, only it wasn't my face... 

"NO!" My scream woke me up; I was trembling all over. I crawled out of the bed and stumbled to the bathroom. I hit the light switch and turned to the mirror, heaving a deep relieved sigh when I saw my own reflection. Looking more closely I realised I looked terrible; stark white face, dark rings under my bloodshot eyes. I looked like I had been drinking for days, but this was worse then the most severe hangover. At least you know the cause of those , but this... 

I almost overslept the next morning. Thankfully I had no more dreams. 

"Forgot to set the alarm clock?" Ruth asked sweetly, when I arrived at M.I.T. 

I grumbled something in reply, which made her laugh. She grabbed my arm and dragged me in. 

I must admit, the lecture was interesting, and it wasn't difficult for me to concentrate on it. The moment Dr. Beckett appeared my heart made a genuine attempt to break the speed limit and my palms started to sweat, but I managed to control myself. 

Afterwards there were a lot of questions ,which he answered patiently, although I could see some annoyance on his face. I had questions of my own, but my voice refused to cooperate. 

I was on my way out when Ruth stopped me, insisting that I should meet the guy. I grappled for an excuse, but pulled a blank. She steered me towards the front of the hall. A small crowd of people were flocking around him. He was polite, friendly, but his eyes begged for someone to get him out of there. Now that I could handle, so I walked up to him, pushing some people aside. I earned me some rude comments, but that didn't bother me. 

"Thanks." he said, when we were standing in the hallway. "I didn't want to be rude." 

"But sometimes it can be too much." I finished. 

"You can say that again." he sighed. Ruthie chuckled at that remark. 

"Don't ever say that to my dad, he'll do just that." 

A smile appeared on his face, making my insides melt and my legs grow weak. What the hell was this man doing to me? He seemed unaware of my discomfort and extended his hand to introduce himself. I took it automatically and held on to it like a lifeline. 

"Calavicci." I was surprised my voice obeyed me. 

A light appeared in his eyes. "Of course, I was wondering where I had seen you before. You were in the space program." 

I had to admit, it was a boost to my ego to be recognized after all those years. 

"Yes, I was." I looked up into his eyes. Wrong move. Our eyes met and held... for seconds, minutes or hours. Time ceased to exist. Finally, he broke away, releasing my hand. 

"Uh..can I invite myself for lunch? " He sounded hesitant, uncertain of himself. 

"Yes!" The enthusiastic response came from Ruth, making us both smile. I noticed the sparkle in her eyes, a sparkle I knew only too well. She was interested in him, very interested. I don't know how many boyfriends she's had already, I've stopped counting. 

Lunch was pleasant, I was even beginning to relax. Dr. Beckett turned out to be a modest, almost shy man. The only thing that made him crawl out of his shell was his work. He told us about the work that he was doing, trying very hard to simplify things. 

"You don't have to do that." Ruth finally cut in. "My dad 

has a degree in physics, and as for me, well I'll ask if something goes over my head." 

I could almost feel his relief. He relaxed in his chair, a huge grin splitting his face. "Do you know how many times this happens to me?" He grinned at our surprised faces. "Never." 

Ruth and I glanced at each other, then burst out laughing. It was such a heartfelt confession, we had no other choice. He joined us wholeheartedly, his laugh resonating through my system. I had no doubt that there was nothing shy about him, once he cut loose. That thought sobered me up, the smile dying on my lips. 

I started a scientific discussion, moving to safer grounds so to speak. I saw his eyes glowing, he seemed to enjoy himself immensely. 

Things went pretty fast after that. Ruth had a real bad crush on Sam, and he seemed to be attracted to her as well, seeking her company whenever he could. He never minded if I joined them, although Ruth did. I understood, but I just couldn't keep away from him. The days went too quick and before I realised it, I was on my way back home. 

A few weeks later, Sam called me, asking if he could have a talk with me. Beth seemed very pleased with this, smiling knowingly. She obviously knew something I didn't. 

He arrived at our house, looking more like a high school kid on his first date then the 32 year old genius that he was. He stole Beth's heart within minutes. 

"I wouldn't mind if this lasted," she confided in me as we stood in the kitchen. I had followed her there like a puppy dog, unable to stay in the room with him. It might have been my imagination, but I thought I saw a flash of disappointment in his eyes when I left the room. 

"What?" I had no idea what she was talking about. 

"Him and Ruth, you know." 

I almost laughed out loud. The thought alone was ridiculous! 

I went back to the living room, grinning, finding Sam in a discussion with my youngest. He was trying to explain a Rubic cube to her with such patience and kindness, it warmed me to the core. 

"Sam, stop fooling him!" I warned her. Two heads snapped in my direction. "She solved that thing in a day." I explained. 

"Daddy!" Dark eyes flashing at me. "Don't spoil it!" 

Sam's gaze went from me to the girl at his side. "Sam?" 

"That's my name." she announced. "Actually it's Samantha, but I hate that." 

Sam smiled at her, then he looked at me. There was something in that smile I couldn't define, but it made me shiver. 

"My name is Sam." he told her. 

She seemed genuinely pleased with that and her smile got wider when he continued, "Did you do that?" She nodded happily. "Then you're a pretty smart girl." he grinned. "And you fooled me." 

"Yeah, well, I wanted to see if you could do it." She shrugged. 

Sam took the cube and solved the puzzle in record time. "Easy." he stated. She stared at him, gasping. "But you're still a smart girl." he said, handing her the cube. 

"Don't we know it." Beth's voice came from behind me. "She drives her teachers crazy with all her questions." 

An understanding smile crossed Sam's face. "I know the problem. My teachers had no idea what to do with me. It gave me plenty of time to come up with jokes." He smiled, as if recalling good memories, then told us about all the stunts he pulled with his friends. It had Samantha in a laughing fit and Beth warned her not to try those things herself. Judging by my daughters face she intended to do just that. 

Finally Sam turned to me. "I came here to talk to you." 

My heart started to race again, and I realised I was bracing myself, preparing myself for the worst. When he began to talk, it wasn't at all what I expected. 

"I'm trying to get my own Project, trying to realise my childhood dream. Admiral, do you believe in time travel?" 

The question hung in the air for a while, my voice leaving me completely. Timetravel? I had heard of it, but for the life of me, I couldn't remember where. Sam took my silence for rejection, disbelief or whatever. I heard him sigh heavily. 

"Sorry I asked." His tone was clipped, emotionless. 

"I can't say I believe in it, but that doesn't mean I don't want to. The question was a bit unexpected that's all." I explained my behaviour. "Tell me about your idea." That was all the prompting he needed and he proceeded to give a detailed explanation of his plans. I listened, not even interrupting him when the explanation went over my head. It was a joy to see him like this, eyes bright, face flushed . 

I whistled softly when he finished. "You sure know what you want. But what does this have to do with me?" I quickly fought down the hope that was rising in me. 

"I wanted to ask you to join this Project, if you want to." 

He sounded so shy. If I wanted to? God, he didn't know what he was asking. I managed to contain my excitement, cleared my throat and asked, "Why me?" 

"Because you're about the first person that doesn't think I'm crazy when I talk about it. You have a degree in physics and with your background as an astronaut, well.." he shrugged, his voice trailing off. 

"I'll do it." The smile that came to his face set my soul on fire. "If those nozzles in Washington let me." 

"That's not a problem." He sounded so sure I almost believed him. "The Government will give me funding, if I involve a military observer. I've told them I found one." 

"You.. what?" 

"I was sure you'd do it." That statement had me gasping for air. It was almost as if he knew.... But it was too good an offer to refuse; it was what I had been waiting for. A challenge, just when I thought I would die of boredom. 

We talked 'till the early hours of the morning. It became obvious we still had a lot of obstacles to clear away, but we were going do it of that I had no doubt. 

"You're not serious about this job?" Beth's question hit me like a brick wall. It was a couple of days after Sam's visit and I was still walking on air. 

"I am." I answered, wondering where this came from. 

"I was afraid of that." she sighed. That puzzled me even more. 

"You don't want me to take the job?" The moment I voiced the question I knew that that was exactly what she meant. "You don't, don't you?" I heard my voice grow angry. 

"To be honest, no. I have a bad feeling about it." 

I exploded, shouting at her that she wasn't going stop me. Her frightened face didn't slow me down, it only added to my anger. I felt betrayed, hurt. 

Shame followed after a while. I had stormed outside, the cold air soon cooling me down. I had no right to treat her like that. I went in again, and tried to apologize, but she wouldn't allow it. A rare thing, but then, so was my anger. I couldn't remember the last time I had gotten so mad. 

I slept on the couch that night, Beth was still refusing to talk to me. There the dream came back again, the one I had in Boston. The white room, the man who was talking to me, but now it was clearer, less fuzzy. I hadn’t realised before who that man was, now I knew. He was me. And what's more, he was the one who told me Sam's name. 

The first thing I did when I woke up was pick up the phone and call Sam. I didn't care that it was the middle of the night, I desperately needed to talk. A sleepy voice answered the phone. 

"Yeah?' 

"Sam?" 

"Al? Is something wrong?" The sleepiness had vanished, 

concern replacing it. 

"I have to talk to you. Something happened and I...I need to talk to you." 

"Talk." 

I told him about the dreams, realising now how stupid it sounded. When I finally fell silent, I was sure I'd signed my death warrant. 

After a long silence, he let out a shuddering breath. "We have to talk about this, but not over the phone." A pause again, driving me up the wall. "Can you come to my place?" 

"Now?" 

"If you want to." 

"On my way." I was already dressing myself. 

"And you're not crazy. There is an explanation for this." I hardly heard those last words as I slammed down the phone. 

How I got to Sam's apartment I don't know. My mind had gone completely blank. The first thing I saw clearly was Sam's worried face as he opened the door. I followed him inside, feeling like a zombie. 

"Sit down and brace yourself. What I'm gonna tell you may be hard to believe, but hear me out before you say anything." 

I sat down without protest, wondering where this was leading. Sam sat down beside me, which made me feel oddly comfortable. 

"As I said, you are not going crazy. Those dreams shocked me, but I wasn't surprised. I had only hoped it wouldn't happen." 

"You knew?" I gasped. 

"In a way." His eyes bore into mine for a second, staring down into my soul, claiming it. Then his gaze went to the wall opposite him. "I'm not Sam." 

I was stunned, and that was the understatement of the century. "You're not?" 

"No, at least not the younger Sam, the one you see. I am from the future." 

"That crazy idea of you works?" I was beginning to wonder if he had gone off the deep end. 

"Yes, but not quite as I planned. I have no control over my leaps and they can't get me back." 

"You leaped before we had a full working retrieval program?" I couldn't believe he would do something stupid like that. 

"I did, the reason is not important now." He sounded tired, strung out. "In every leap I have to set right something that once went wrong and then I leap into the next situation." 

That's when I noticed the ravaged features, the sadness in his eyes. "Why are you here?" I was almost afraid to ask. 

"Don't know," he shrugged. Something in the way he said it made the alarm bells in my head go off. There was more. "I think you do. Isn't there anyone to tell you that? 

"Not anymore." I was shocked to see the tears in his eyes. 

"Tell me Sam. You had help before?" 

"Yes." He swallowed hard. "A few leaps ago I set something right, something I felt I had to do. Since then I've been alone." The numbness behind those words tore at my heart. "I can do the leaps alone, that's not the problem." 

"What is?" 

"Lonely. There's no one that knows me as me." 

It was a terrifying thought. It also made me angry. What had he done to deserve this? 

"Tell me about that leap." I encouraged him. 

He told me an unbelievable story, about a woman he had convinced to wait for her husband, who was M.I.A. in Vietnam. He didn't have to explain, he was talking about the man who had been his helper. My anger grew stronger. He had done this out of friendship, a totally unselfish act. It had left him on his own, stranded in time, with no way to get back to his own time. "What?" I was wrapped up in my own thoughts and hadn't heard his question. 

"Are you happy?" he repeated. 

I had to think about it for a few moments. "I guess so." 

"Are you?" he pressed. "That's all I want to know." 

I stared at him, confused. "Why?" I asked. 

He didn't answer, just looked at me. The whole truth hit me then, with an incredible blow that nearly knocked me of the couch. He was talking about me! It all made sense then, the dreams, the strange attraction to him. "Oh Sammy." I held out my arms. He threw himself into the embrace, clinging to me desperately. As I held him, I realised that my whole world had turned upside down within an hour. I had found out my life was created, my wife and daughters handed to me as a gift. A gift out of love. 

"Sam, why?" I heard the desperation in my own voice. 

"Don't ask. I don't want to ruin the life you have." 

"You won't." I barely could choke out the words, as tears of my own started. 

"Don't cry." His voice was soft and gentle, brushing away the tears from my face. 

"Then tell me why." 

He wrapped his arms around me, holding me very close. "You told me once she was your one shot at true love. I had the chance to give her back to you, so I did." Simple words, coming from his heart. It took me a long time to get over that. 

"Oh boy!" I said finally. 

A small smile appeared on his face. "That's usually my line." 

"Oh." His smile warmed me and I dared snuggle a bit closer to him. It was almost like I was meant to be there. "Sam, what was the original timeline?" I didn't have a clue where that question came from. My voice seemed to have a temporal disconnection with my mind. 

His arms tightened around me. "You really want to know?" 

"Yes." 

Large, gentle hands cupped my face. E yes full of love gazed at me. It was answer enough for me. He had been mine. It felt right, more right then my marriage to Beth. I put my arms around his neck, drawing him to me. 

"Are you sure?" How could he be so uncertain? He could give me back the life I used to have, the life I wanted, with him. 

For an answer I brushed my lips against his. It was sweeter than anything I ever experienced. He smiled and melted into the embrace, kissing back with a hunger that set my whole body on fire. His tongue plundered my mouth, yet I didn't feel a bit overpowered. It was all far too good for that. My hands strayed over his back, feeling the muscles flex under my touch. A low moan came from deep in his throat, an almost animal sound. I had to brake the kiss, desperately needing air. We stared at each other, both trembling. Gone was the pain and the sadness, his eyes were burning with passion and desire. Fingers trailed over my face, making the skin burn. It was as if he wanted to store it in his memory, making sure he would never forget it. He didn't have to. I was never going to leave him again. 

Passion took over then. He threw himself backwards, taking me with him. Hands tugging at my clothes, a hot mouth clamping over mine I felt like was in the middle of a thunderstorm, with no chance of escape. Not that I wanted to I wanted to drown, to give myself completely to him. He cried out as our naked bodies met. The feeling of his erection rubbing against mine was too much to take. I yelled his name and plunged over the edge. I fell and fell… there seemed to be no end to it. I was caught in strong arms, holding me safe and secure. A smiling face was the first thing my eyes registrated. It has been the first thing ever since. 

"I love you." I whispered. 

He gave me a soft kiss on the lips. "Love you , too." 

I settled in his arms, a deep contentment filling my heart. 

Things were back as they were meant to be, weren’t they? The question popped into my brain unexpectedly. 

"Sammy.." I started. 

"What now?" he finished. "I don't know." 

"You still don't know why you are here?" 

He shook his head, a grin followed. "But I do like what I am doing here." 

"I bet you do." Sam's eyes widened and he slowly sat up. 

"Al?" 

"Who else?" was the cheerful answer. 

I had the unusual sensation of looking at myself. From that moment on the timelines began to scramble in my head. I have two sets of memories of that event: one seen through the eyes of my younger self, the other from the hologram's point of view. It all came down to one thing: Sam had changed history again. 

Or rather, we did. We found each other again, the love we have proving to be an unbreakable bond. 

We got our Project, with me in charge of the funding. I knew what had happened before, so I made sure Sam developed a working retrieval program first. We came close to lose the funding once or twice, but it never came to that. Sam never had to make that first wild leap. 

I'm writing this down as a reminder. Not only for myself, but also for Sam. Perhaps even more so, for him. Just in case he wants to do something foolish again. 

Like changing my life. 

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